32-year-old former Nickelodeon megastar Amanda Bynes has come clean about her longtime struggles with addiction, her slow decline, and her new life of sobriety. It’s been almost a decade since she retired at the top of the world, with a TV and movie career than spanned almost half of her life. What happened behind the scenes was a life of struggles with addiction.

Since then, Amanda Bynes has been arrested multiple times, been on crazy Twitter rants, had a few public meltdowns, and ended it all with a stay in a psychiatric hospital. Though not a perfect substitute for an addiction treatment center, these hospitals will aid in the mental health issues related to addiction, at least at first.

Bynes was always known for her wholesome attitude and her squeaky-clean public persona. But we all know where that’s going. These Disney stars and child celebrities are easy targets for addiction and Bynes was no different. She admits she started smoking weed at age 16 and did not stop until she finally found sobriety.

But that wasn’t what she was treated for. Bynes underwent Adderall addiction treatment as well as some additional treatment for MDMA and cocaine. And like most women in addiction, she was lured in to the drug for the wrong reasons. Bynes said that a 2007 article she heard Adderall was the new skinny pill. That is when she began taking the drug. Amanda Bynes’ addiction got so bad she was chewing handfuls of the pills in movie trailers.

Her downward spiral into addiction came to a serious point when she announced her retirement from acting in 2010 while high after seeing her last movie Easy A. But after that she lost her purpose, without acting she began taking more drugs, aimlessly going from one day to the next.

“I’m really ashamed and embarrassed with the things I said,” Bynes told Paper. “I can’t turn back time but if I could, I would. And I’m so sorry to whoever I hurt and whoever I lied about because it truly eats away at me. It makes me feel so horrible and sick to my stomach and sad.”

We’ve all been there, and this is something that all women in recovery can relate to. We remember the things we said, the people we hurt and sometimes it hits us at 2:00am at the sober living home like a ton of bricks.

The good news is that she realized something had to change and she turned her life around. She has been sober for 4 years now and is starting to focus on what’s next.

So, what’s next for this queen? A degree at the Fashion Institute of Design & Merchandising and a new attitude. She is ready to take on the world with sobriety in mind and her aim on the future of possibilities. We could all learn a lot from Amanda Bynes’ addiction, we are not all that different, and drugs affect us all the same, rich or poor. We are all behind her as she turns this corner in her life. Here’s to many years of clarity, success, and sobriety.

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